I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
