he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
