Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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