Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
