I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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