But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Banned from zoo.
Again?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
