did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
