There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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