No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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