Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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