I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
