he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
