We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
