When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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