okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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