I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Never joke about your clitoris.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
