If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
