I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
