Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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