Is it normal to miss your booty call?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
