We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
