is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Randomize
