That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
