he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
