Sponge bath it is.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
