i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
