Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
