WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
