Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
