Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
