I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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