I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
