did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
