im having a threesome with these popsicles
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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