I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
