Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
