just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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