he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
