I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
