i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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