OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Randomize
