i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
