I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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