i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
