It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
