well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
