I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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