so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
