haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
