My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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