capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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