Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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