I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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