My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
